Somesuch Blog

A blog about the things we do.

#1 Stunna

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Director Vincent Haycock (pictured above) made a video for Calvin Harris’s single 'Sweet Nothing', which went to NUMBER ONE in the UK charts on Sunday. Cop it below.

I love NUMBER ONES. If you work at a record label a NUMBER ONE means that you might not get made redundant for at least another week. In times gone by, a NUMBER ONE also meant that you might be able to enjoy a glass of champagne at the Monday morning label meeting. I don’t know if that happens anymore? Likewise a NUMBER ONE represents an armistice of sorts: a brief period of respite where the Sword of Damocles is lowered, before your MD resumes his daily persecution of you. Do you know how fucking lucky you are to even have a job? Sony just fired ten thousand people. If we don’t deliver this album we’re fucked. P45 fucked. Job centre fucked. Have you been to a job centre recently? They stink of piss. And AIDS. Yes, sadly the prevailing atmosphere in the Dream Factory - AKA the Fart Machine - is one of fear, paranoia, frustration, jealousy, acrimony and larceny. But for a few precious hours a NUMBER ONE makes it feel like everything is gonna be OK.

On a side note, while Vincent Haycock is one of the nicest, mellowest guys around, you definitely don’t wanna fuck with him. He will get punchy if provoked. His wife Stephanie tells a story of an evening in a downtown dive bar in NY. They were having a few dranks. Getting lean. Fucking around. Dancing a bit. They accidentally barged into one of those bitchy, effete, metro-sexual, hipster types. Low cut vest, hairdo, winkle-pickers, spray on batty-man jeans, angular weasel features. The guy took exception to this and poured a full pint of lager over Stephanie’s head. Vince politely asked him why he felt the need to have done that. He got all up in Vince’s face. What? What? Boom. Vince popped him in the face. Sharp jab. The dude staggered back, blood pouring from his nose. He started screaming and sobbing. Oww. Fuck. Fuck. My nose. I just got a nose job. My fucking nose.

[Baby] James Bond, Jackie Chan, and that bitch, MacGyver
[Wayne] Private planes, Jaguars, Bentleys, and Prowlers
[Baby] I’m the # 1 stunna!
[Wayne] Wh-what, wh-what, what?
[Baby] The # 1 stunna!
[Wayne] Wh-what, wh-what, what?

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