Just Love Safe
Fresh from rinsing it at the UK MVA awards, Somesuch & Co director Daniel Wolfe shot the video for Plan B’s forthcoming single ‘Love Goes Down’ this week. It’s Daniel’s fifth outing with Ben Drew and the most recent installment of an ongoing narrative series of videos. Tim Francis took care of the production duties. He is also award winning. There’ll be a full report once the video’s delivered.
We shot in the Maidstone TV Studios. Maidstone town centre is much like any other small town centre in England - Marks & Spencer, Carphone Warehouse, McDonalds, Ann Summers and a Superdrug. Basically everything you need. Even if you haven’t, you’ve been there. You know what it looks like.
I went into Superdrug to buy some Nurofen plus and spotted these on an aisle display.
Aston Merrygold. From JLS. On a packet of condoms. Just love safe. No. Not safe. Not fucking safe at all. Pretty much un-safe.
It’s Saturday night somewhere in England. The blinds are closed. The lights are dipped. X Factor’s finished. The Xtra Factor’s nearly over. He’d like to watch Match Of The Day. But she hates football. He really wants to chirps her though. Hold it down. Just watch the highlights on Iraq Goals tomorrow. He moves in to spoon her on the sofa.
‘Babe, I’m not sure how to say this. I just never seem to be able to find the right words. Or the right time to say the right words. But, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I really mean it. I think I love you.’
‘Awww. That’s so sweet.’
‘And I’ve been thinking. Thinking about it a lot. Maybe it’s time for us to take this to the next level?’
‘SShhhh. We’ve talked about this before. I just don’t want to ruin what we have. It feels too soon.’
‘But I just feel so close to you. Really close. And I want to be even closer. To really know you. Let’s just try it and see how it feels. I brought some condoms. JLS ones.’
‘I’m not sure babe.’
‘You can pretend I’m Ashton.’
‘Can we do it with the lights off?’
‘Of course. Anything you want. I can even wear that deep V-neck T-shirt.’
‘OK.’
He hits the light switch. They fumble.
‘Gently though. Slow. Uuunnngh.’
‘Mmmm.’
‘Uhh. Fuck me Ashton. Fuck me. Grab my tits.’
Yeah man. Harness the raw love-making power of Ashton from JLS.
Let’s extend this out. There must be plenty of young aspiring video directors struggling to get laid. It’s Friday night at the Royal College. The ArtBar is choked with hotties. Wall to wall. But you’re faded. Your game’s gone out of the window. You feel awkward and insecure. Allow this. I might just shine it off and go home. Now imagine if you had a pack of Michel Gondry condoms at your disposal. Boom. You’d be making stop frame animation love before you knew it.
That’s what I’m taking about. They need to bring out a Directors Series of condoms.
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